Baking a Soufflé
by thelovelygeek
Summary: What happens when Jack and Clara's friend Maggie get a certain timelord and his impossible girl drunk and they find out 15 days later that Clara's pregnant? Well, A LOT of chaos, and romance and crazy hormonal wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff. Whouffle and Jack/OC
1. Soufflés and Babies

**A/N: This is my first fanfiction so please be nice I'll try to upload on a regular basis. Enjoy!**

_Chapter 1: Soufflés and Babies_

Clara walks into the console room with an ashen look on her face.

"D-doctor? I need to tell you something." she says shakily.

He whirls around with a big smile on his face until he sees how she looks. The smile drops almost instantly and he rushes to her side, a list of possibilities running through his head but none are even close to what she is about to say.

"Clara? What's wrong? Are you okay?" he says frowning and trying not to look too worried.

"Doctor, I'm-"

***The scene pauses suddenly and River pops up* "Before you go any further, author, I suggest that you have a little flashback to show how this all happened."**

**_"Oh, thanks! Good idea River and wait- how are you doing this, you're a hologram and a fictional character!"_**

***River shrugs and fades away into the background***

**~FLASHBACK~**

15 days ago

The Doctor, Clara, Jack Harkness and Clara's friend Maggie all rush into the TARDIS, completely out of breath but smiling and its only seconds before they start laughing.

"Well, now we know how Napoleon got so short." Jack says, shooting a sideways glance at Maggie.

"Oi! It wasn't my fault, how was I supposed to know what that button did?!" she replies, blushing slightly from embarrassment.

"Well, now we know not to let Mags near any more buttons, or any technology at all for that matter." Clara says, finally regaining her breath and smiling fondly at the technophobe.

The blonde pretends to look offended and points her finger at Clara.

"Last time I checked, you were just as bad as I was at technology, you thought only one person could use the internet at a time! Then suddenly overnight you turn into a total screaming genius and I'm stuck not even knowing what bloody twitter is!"

Clara shares a sheepish look with the Doctor at Maggie's words and he grins at her before straightening up, fixing his bowtie and striding over to the TARDIS console. Clara follows him and pets the TARDIS console once, the ship giving Clara a gentle hum in return. The TARDIS and her had been trying their best to get along in order to appease the Doctor, who currently looks very happy with himself.

She nudges him gently, a smile playing across her lips, "Oh shut up, chin boy."

He nudges her back and suppresses a grin, "Make me, soufflé girl."

Over by the door, Maggie and Jack notice this exchange and share a look. The both saw it, now they just had to get the Doctor and Clara to see it too. Its matchmaking time.

Jack cleared his throat and Clara and the Doctor jumped apart.

"I propose a drink, we deserve it after the little expedition we just went on."

Maggie nods in agreement, "Yeah! Let's have a celebration! Jack can handle the drinks, Doctor, you can find a good place for us to land or float or something and a room to have the party in, Clara and I will handle food and TARDIS? Will you please handle the décor for the party?"

The TARDIS hums happily and Maggie beams, "Excellent!" and starts dragging Clara towards the kitchen while Jack, The Doctor and the TARDIS all handle their respective duties.

2 hours later

The Doctor and Clara are both completely smashed thanks to a little something added to their drinks (curtesy of Jack) while Jack and Maggie sit back, smile and clink their glasses together. Job well done.

"Claraclaraclaraclara. My impossible girrrl. My beautifullll amazing soufflé girrrl." The Doctor slurs, walking-er, more like stumbling his way over to Clara who was currently the color of a tomato and alternating between hiccupping and giggling.

"Yes Doctordoctordoctor? My amazinng fannntastic wonnderfull chin boy?"

The Doctor grins and trips forward, falling onto Clara who just giggles and blushes more. He leans forward and kisses her full on the mouth while Maggie and Jack cheer and wolf whistle and the TARDIS hums excitedly and blinks her lights on and off. The Doctor and Clara choose to ignore them and instead deepen the kiss and try to get each other's clothes off (which was a bit difficult because they were on the floor and drunk and pretty much glued at the mouth).

The Doctor finally broke free from the kiss, only to ask "Bedroom?" Clara nods and they continue to kiss, and actually, physically begin to roll, still lip-locked, out of the room, down the hall and into the Doctor's bedroom leaving Maggie and Jack behind who were laughing so hard they couldn't breathe.

A few minutes later when they had gotten their laughter under control, Maggie turns to Jack, "Do you think they'll need protection?"

He shakes his head. "Nah, they wouldn't go _that_ far. Probably pass out before anything happens."

~FLASHBACK END~

"Doctor, I'm pregnant." Clara says, still in shock and anxiously searches his face for anger or disbelief or sadness. Instead he simply smiles, "Oh is that all? Well I thought you were going to say that you wanted to leave or that you were dying and- wait…did you say pregnant?!"

Clara nods and the Doctor's eyes widen. "Our baby?"

She nods again and the Doctor gets a dreamy look on his face, "I'm gonna be a father!" he says softly and pokes her stomach gently before fainting.


	2. Someone has a Deathwish

**A/N: So second chapter, yay! Sorry about all the grammar/spelling mistakes in the last chapter and thank you to lifewithdaleks for the nice review! Also thank you to SunnySmile1324, ceces-pizzeria and missfarthing for following this story and ceces-pizzeria and .336 for favoriting this story. I really appreciate it! Anyway, onto the next chapter. Allons-y!**

_Chapter 2:Someone has a Deathwish_

The Doctor jerks awake, "Clara? Clara, where are you?" He says frantically looking around, which only gives him alternate views of the ceiling. He sits up and is pleased to see that she's leaning against the console, watching him with a mix of nervousness, guilt and affection.

_She stayed with me,_ he thinks happily and smiles gently at her. She returns the smile and reaches out a hand to help him off the floor. Once standing he envelops her in a hug and kisses the top of her head.

She breathes a sigh of relief, "So you're not mad?"

He pulls away and shakes his head, "Of course I'm not mad at you. I'm happy! A bit in shock, okay _a lot_ in shock but happy and you need to know that I'm going to be here for you know matter what. It's you and me and the baby." At his last few words he places his hand on Clara's stomach.

Clara is blown away by the sincerity of the Doctor's words. Rarely is he ever this serious, he's always laughing and joking around and acting like a little kid. And she's completely okay with that, she loves that about him but she now she finds that she also loves this side of him.

Her eyes water and she blinks back tears, "Doctor-I, thank you, that means a lot." she says with a small smile, stands on her tiptoes and gently kisses him.

Pulling away, she's pleased to see that he's blushing slightly but smiling. She realizes that this is the first time they've kissed since the drunk incident. In fact, they just went on pretending that everything was normal (much to the dismay of Maggie and Jack). They haven't even brought up that night until today.

Just then Jack and Maggie burst into the console room, laughing at a joke that the Doctor and Clara hadn't heard. Maggie and Jack look at the pair and smile until they notice that Clara is glaring at them. They gulp and begin to back out of the room but the TARDIS (who is now rather fond-and slightly protective of Clara because of her situation) blocks their way with a door.

Clara steps forward, murder written all over her face, but the Doctor grabs her hand and she stops.

"Jack. Harkness. You fucking prick." Clara hisses while the other three gape at her, Clara Oswald _never_ curses, unless she's extremely pissed off.

She turns to Maggie, "And you, you're just as bad as him!"

Addressing the both of them, she narrows her eyes and continues "What _exactly_ was your little plan? Get us drunk enough so that we'd-what? Profess our undying love for each other? Well news flash: _we can do that on our own time not with two people forcing us to! "_

She pulls her hand from the Doctor's and steps foward again. Maggie and Jack are pretty much frozen to the spot from fear. Her voice lowers to a whisper, which is scarier than her shouting at them. "Well your little plan _backfired_." She finishes her sentence with a final glare at them before storming out of the door that the TARDIS has reopened.

Jack and Maggie look from Clara's retreating form to the Doctor and back again.

Maggie speaks first, "What did she mean the plan backfired?! You two were just all lovey-dovey!"

Jack chimes in, "Yeah! What's she talking about, Doc?"

He shakes his head at both of them, "Just because I'm not ready to kill you like Clara is doesn't mean I'm not mad. Now as to what she was talking about, she's-erm, pregnant."

Both Maggie's and Jack's mouths drop open, "SHE'S WHAT?!" They scream simultaneously.

"Pregnant." The Doctor snaps "Thanks to you two getting us drunk enough that we forgot our own names, let alone remembering to use protection. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go check on Clara." He brushes past them and stalks out of the room.

Jack and Maggie look at each other, guilt written all over their faces.

"Well we really fucked up." Jack finally said.

Maggie nods in agreement, "I'm going to stay out of Clara's way for until she calms down. I suggest you do the same, unless you have a deathwish." she says and begins to walk out of the room.

"I can't die!" Jack calls after her.

"Doesn't matter, it's an angry pregnant Clara we're talking about, she'll find a way to kill you." Maggie calls over her shoulder while the TARDIS hums in agreement.


	3. Hugs are Cool

**A/N: 10 followers and 6 favorites?! It may not be much to some people but it means A LOT to a new fanfiction writer like me. So thank you thank you thank you to all of my followers :) You all are fantastic, absolutely fantastic.**

_Chapter 3: Hugs are cool._

It's been 2 days since Clara revealed her pregnancy to the Doctor and Maggie and Jack were still hiding from her, which was a bit difficult since the TARDIS kept messing with them and putting them directly in Clara's TARDIS had taken on sort of a protective-motherly-sisterly role in the last few days and no one could figure out why (They all assumed it was because of Clara's condition but it was really becau-

***The narration freezes and River appears*  
"No, sweetie you can't reveal that quite yet."  
"****_What do you mean I can't reveal it yet?! I'm the author!"_****  
"Spoilers, even the TARDIS has secrets that she doesn't want revealed...yet."  
****_"What?! Ugh, fine. And let me guess, you want a flashback too so the readers can see what happened between Clara and The Doctor?"_****  
*River nods and smiles*  
*Author rolls her eyes but starts the flashback.***

**~FLASHBACK~**  
_Two days ago_  
The Doctor marches quickly down the hallway, grumbling about Jack and Maggie an their stupid plan. As he approaches Clara's door, he hears quiet sobbing. His anger dissipates and is quickly replaced by concern.

He knocks gently and 5 seconds later the door is flung open and a puffy eyed Clara stands in the doorway, glaring with a scowl on her face. When she realizes its the Doctor her face softens and gives him a watery smile.

"Hi Doctor" she says softly, giving a half hearted wave.

His brow furrows as he takes in her red, puffy eyes, sniffling and the way she rests a hand on her stomach.

"Clara? Are you alright?" He asks, stepping closer to her.

"I-I just don't know what to do, Doctor, how can _I_ raise a _baby_, I'm only 24 years old. Aren't you supposed to get married and fall in love and get a dog before you have a kid?" She responds, tears flowing freely down her face again.

The Doctor doesn't reply, only steps foward and wraps his arms around her and puts as much comfort he can muster into the hug.

"What's this for, Chin?"

"It's a hug, soufflé girl, hugs are cool, you know."

She chuckles softly into his chest, "Thanks, Doctor."

They stay like this for a while, neither of them wanting to pull away.

**~FLASHBACK END~**

Since that day, Maggie and Jack had done everything they could to avoid Clara and The Doctor until they could come up with a way to make it up to the pair.

It was day 3 and they haven't come up with anything.

Maggie sighs, "Jack what are we going to do? We majorly fucked up and now we need to make it right."

Jack runs a hand through his hair, which makes it look even sexier than it already is (according to Maggie), and begins pacing around the unoccupied kitchen.

"I don't know! This was never meant to happen, they were supposed to kiss, fall in love and pass out before anything happened!" He almost shouts the last part, causing Maggie to stand up.

"Well something did happen! And _it's our job to fix it_!"

"How?! How the hell do we possibly fix this! You can't just get a card that says 'Sorry for getting you wasted which caused you to get pregnant, please take this $50 gift certificate as our compensation'"

Maggie gasped, "Jack! I've got it! We throw Clara and Doc a baby shower!"

And then they're kissing. In fact, they're so engrossed in it that they don't even hear the footsteps coming.

"What the hell are you two doing?!" Two voices scream simultaneously.

They break apart and Jack replies, "Kissing, what does it look like we're doing?"

Both Clara and the Doctor are at a loss for words. But Clara doesn't need words to get her point across. She storms up to Jack and punches him in the face before grabbing his color and pulling him down to her height, "If you get her pregnant, I will kill you, understand Harkness?"

He nods and she lets him go before stalking out of the room. The Doctor doesn't follow her though and instead looks at Jack and Maggie suspiciously.

"What are you guys up to?" He asks, his eyes slightly narrowed.

"We're planning!" Maggie chirps.

"Planning what?" He folds his arms and scowls at them.

"Oh, you know, just a surprise." Jack replies.

"A good, surprise, not a bad one this time, now shoo." Maggie adds.

"W-what?" The Doctor splutters.

"Leave, get out, move, scadaddle, partez!" She says, trying to push him out of the room.

"This is my TARDIS and I will go where I want to!" He yells.

At his words the TARDIS jerks to the side causing the Doctor to fall out of the kitchen door, even though miraculously Jack and Maggie stay put (gravity-boost floor).

"Bye!" They say together, smiling at the confused Doctor on the floor before the kitchen door slams shut.


	4. Surprise Guests

**A/N: Haha, I totally agree with you breathoffreshwords. *Shouts over shoulder* See River, I'm not the only one who thinks you should just let me tell my story, you can be very annoying sometimes. And I'm so so sorry for not uploading in a while, there was a lot of shit going on in my house :( But! I'm back! Yay! So geronimo!**

_Chapter 4: Surprise Guests_

Jack and Maggie spend a whole 4 hours planning the baby shower. They look around and admire their handiwork.

"Well. This place looks pretty damn amazing if I do say so myself." Maggie says, folding her arms and gazing around proudly at her and Jacks and the TARDIS' work.

The TARDIS built the perfect room. It is all white except for the ceiling which is transparent and shows a beautiful view of space. A table with a cream colored tablecloth over it stands in one corner of the room, piled high with gifts wrapped in light pink and blue wrapping paper and white bows. In another corner of the room stands a long table with the same colored table cloth as the other table only this one is laden with food and drink. Finally in the center of the room there is a big puffy white chair with a smaller, less puffy chair beside it and then 2 rows of white folding chairs in front of it.

Jack taps his chin in thought, "I don't know...maybe we went a little overboard..."

Maggie shrugs "If we did, oh well. It's the least we can do after y'know causing her to get pregnant."

Jack nods,"True. Very true. Okay, now it's time for the fun to begin." He says with a grin.

As if on cue ***River pops up***

**_"What?! River what are you doing?!"_**

**_"You said 'as if on cue' I assumed it was time for me to come in."_**

**_"No! It's not! And you know it! Is this revenge for me calling you annoying? Ugh, I'm sorry River I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."_**

***River crosses her arms***

**"Who says my feelings were hurt? I've had people call me worse things. You calling me annoying had no effect on me."**

**_"That's a lie! I know when you're lying River!"_**

**"Oh so now I'm a liar? You may be the Author but that doesn't mean that you can just call the characters mean names."**

**_"I wasn't calling you a mean name! Ugh y'know what? I said I was sorry and I need to get on with the story, the readers want to know what happened. So please, can you just go away?"_**

**"Fine. I will. Go find yourself a new interrupter."**

***River turns and walks away, a tear running down her cheek***

***The Author throws her arms up in frustration***

**_"River! River! Come back! I'm sorry okay!"_**

***Wiping her eyes, the Author continues with the story and goes off to find a replacement interrupter until River comes back***

As if on cue 12 people appear in the room and look around in confusion. Before things can get too chaotic, Jack forms a mini-megaphone with his hands and calls out "OKAY! You all, just sit and be quiet! I will explain everything once you are all seated!"

The noise quiets down as they sit in the plastic chairs and turn to look at Jack.

Jack takes a piece of paper from Maggie and clears his throat, "Now, when I call your name please say 'here' and nothing else, got it?"

They all nod and some roll their eyes while Jack begins to call out their names.

"Madame Vastra?"

A lady in a black dress with a veil over her face raises her hand. "Here." She says coldly.

"Jenny Flint?"

A lady with dark brown hair seated next to Madame Vastra raises her hand "Present!" she says with a thick Cockney accent.

"Strax?"

A potato shaped being in a 19th century style suit doesn't bother to raise his hand and just says with a scowl, "I am present you ignorant human scum."

Jack checks him off the list and whispers to Maggie "Well Mr. Potatohead certainly is grumpy." causing her to giggle.

"Brian Pond?"

A man with redish hair looks up from the book he was reading. "Here, although its Williams, not Pond."

"That's not what the list says."

Brian sighs "Okay well, I guess for today I'll be Brian Pond." and goes back to his book.

"Okayy, um Nina Holt?"

A small girl with pink hair and electric blue eyes raises her hand "Here!"

Jack continues through the rest of the list, going through the Maitland kids (Artie and Angie), Queen Nefertiti, Wilfred Mott, Emma Grayling, Alec Palmer and finally a small man called Porridge, who just happened to be the Emporor of a galaxy.

"Well! That's everyone! Now if you all will just sit tight for a few more minutes and then we can get on with the baby shower. Now since I know what you've just been randomly transported here, Maggie and I took the liberty to get gifts so you guys wouldn't have to. Again, just sit tight and in a couple minutes the party will begin." Jack calls out to the group and then turns to Maggie-

***The scene freezes and a red-headed boy leans in*  
**

**"Um...why aren't they all questioning how they suddenly just appeared out of nowhere?"**

**_"Because, Ginger, that's the way I wrote the story now shush."_**

**"And why am I here again? I'm not even a part of this fandom...yet."**

**_"Because I needed a replacement interrupter that's why!"_**

**"This chapter is really long you know, and kinda pointless in the long run."**

**_"Oi! It is not pointless! Next chapter the baby shower is going to happen and the readers need to know who the guests are!"_**

**"Yeaahh but couldn't you have just told them who the guests were in like one sentence?"**

**_"Okay y'know what? That's it, this chapter needs to finish so get out, just unfreeze the scene so we can get on with it."_**

***the Author then pushes Ginger out of the scene and the scene resumes.***  
Jack turns to Maggie, "Who are all these people?"

She shrugs, "Dunno, the only ones I recognize are the Maitlands."

Suddenly there's a thump outside the door and Jack whirls around, a grin on his face.

"Okay everyone, show time."

**A/N: Now, this isn't my best chapter but I felt like I owed you guys one so I posted this sort of filler chapter. I promise promise promise that the next one will be a billion times better :)**


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